The car you're asking for CAN be built. I've ordered cars for customers, although I usually try to sell them an in-stock car, or one I can do a dealer trade for - if at all possible.
Is your dealer completely unwilling to order your car, or are they just really reluctant?
I can relate to your desires. If I were buying this car right now, I'd configure it with Premium and Drivers Assistance packages and that's it. You can buy a couple of iPads and a lot of iTunes movies for $1700. Plus, who is going to have DVDs in a couple more years? - Yes, I know you can input whatever source you want to the screens - not my point.
If you order a car, it will take 90-120 days to arrive. Are you OK with this? Also, we don't know what, if any, incentives will be available at the time it arrives. Best you can do price-wise, is to negotiate an invoice plus price with the dealer and pay that when the car arrives. Also, expect to put down a non-refundable deposit (different dealers handle it differently, but I'm not going to buy a $50K custom car for you unless you have some skin in the game).
And finally, there have been times when Infiniti forced us to take Theater packages on Deluxe Tech cars. Whether we ordered cars with, or without, they still got added. If I custom ordered your car, I'd make sure this didn't happen, but it could cause delays. It's the same thing with stuff like splash guards and illuminated kick plates - we don't always have control over every detail and accessory.
If you're in Norcal, feel free to contact me. If not, you might want find another dealership if yours continues to be stubborn.